if im created in your image, then why is it so hard for me to be accepted. For starters, why do I have this "need" to be accepted. Is it something that you instilled in me before I was born. Or is it because my parents were too busy to find the time to ever make me feel like I was worthy in thier eye's? Nature or nuture, I really don't care. All I know is that i feel like I'm different from all around me. And considering how i feel like the friend everyone keeps at arm's distance, I'm starting to believe it. Life shouldnt be this hard. It's hard enough just trying to survive, much less to feel like a pariyah too. Everyone has faults. Everyone has issues. So then why do I feel like I'm a crayon in a box full of markers. I love people so deeply, yet I constantly feel like a doormat. People say that I should find my love/acceptance from you. But if that's true, then why are we even here on this Earth? If the point is to be totally dependant on you, then why do I need to be here in the 1st place? I love you, and you know that. And well everyone know's I'm not perfect. I'm just tired of feeling like I don't belong. I don't feel like you want sheep as children. we are all different in different ways. then why is it that i feel on the outside of those I wish to be closest too? being unique is one thing, being "that guy" is loosing it's luster. out of over 6 billion people on this earth, surely I wouldnt alienate everyone.....
...would I?
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2 comments:
I love you baby! You're the only man I know that can be hurt over and over by friends and loved ones and still love unconditionally. You really are special. Unlike me, the vengeful one, I look up to you for that. I only wish I could do the same but as I struggle with my own convictions I will always choose to love you no matter what.
thank you my crazy beautiful sherry. i hope you find what your looking for.
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